Humble beginnings lead to fond memories January 26, 2009

It was never meant to happen this way. I never intended to be in an apartment when my first child was born. Nope – it was not my plan. But then again nothing ever goes as planned. Or perhaps Proverbs 16:9 phrases it much more succinctly – The mind of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.

However, it did happen that way. When my firstborn arrived, my husband and I were living in a one-bedroom apartment. One that we liked sometimes and one that we hated most of the time. But it was home.

When my son was about 11 months old and our lease was up, my husband and I attempted to find a house to rent but nothing safe was within our budget. And buying a house was not in the plan at the time. So, we moved into another apartment – a two-bedroom, third-floor apartment. In the same complex. Its only redeeming quality was the lake-front view. But oh those ducks could be quite loud in the morning.

Spending time in an apartment, on the third floor, with a rambunctious 1-year-old isn’t ideal but it was what we could afford. Of course being a stay-at-home mom I made the best of it. We colored, read books, played games, watched the ducks from the balcony, spent time outside on the balcony, filled up a baby pool with water on the balcony (don’t recommend that) and tried to not make too much noise for our neighbors below. Naturally, an early-rising toddler has no concept of how fast he’s running or how loud he’s stomping, and that your “neighbors” are still sleeping at 6 a.m. Oh and did I mention that carrying groceries up three flights of stairs isn’t all that fun either? (well it was mostly my husband’s job but it was still hard work!)

With enough prayer and faith in God, my small family eventually moved out of that apartment into our very own home. Our first house! Being almost 2 years old, my son would now have his own backyard and more space in his room to collect more toys that he really doesn’t need but that’s a different story. We loved our new house! It was and is a gift from God! I would change nothing about it.

It’s been more than a year in our new home, yet, most recently, I’ve found myself reminiscing about our old stomping grounds, our third-floor stomping grounds. Perhaps it’s because we now drive by that apartment everyday taking my husband to his bus stop and my son recognizes his first home and says, “Aparmen!” very happily. He asks me repeatedly to go there but I kindly remind him of our new home.

But looking back upon those “tough times” often being cooped up in the apartment, I think about the fun times we had when my son was small. His first bath in the real tub, his first birthday, his first steps, the way his room smelled like baby powder, how he loved watching the ducks, rocking him to sleep while humming, ‘It is well with my soul,’ and the fun games we attempted to play on our small balcony. Not to mention the constant prayers of faith asking God to one day provide us with a home to use for His glory. It’s so strange to think now that something so confining at one time could be the catalyst for fond memories at this time.

Those were our humble beginnings and even though our living situation has improved, we still face difficulties as we make sacrifices living on a limited income. But would I ever exchange the memories made in that apartment with my little baby over a larger, more secure income? Most assuredly not. I think in a way it was God refining me to force me to lean upon Him even more, to trust Him daily, with all my needs. For what need do we have for God, the Ultimate Provider, if we have no needs at all?

Dear God,
I pray to lean on you all the more as I find myself in hopeless and difficult situations. As I look around me and see trials and tests, I pray that my faith will increase as I remember that I am standing on solid ground, on the rock that is My Savior and Your Son Jesus Christ. Help me to remember from where You have brought me, a life of death and destruction, to where I am now, a new creation in You, and where You are taking me. Help me to remember that is You who is carrying me, as a Shepherd carries his young lamb on His shoulders. In Christ’s Name.

The Untitled Blog Post January 22, 2009

A lot can happen in three months – WordPress changes its format, you find out you’re pregnant, your son turns 3 years old. So, what’s the natural response? Blogging hits the backburner. At least for me.

But amidst the craziness and chaos of life, one thing has remained constant. There will always be more craziness and chaos. That’s life with a toddler-turning-preschooler who demands his way is the best way. Wait ’till he meets Jesus.

Or maybe I should say wait ’till Jesus meets him (and hopefully transforms him SOON!). But that wouldn’t be correct because my son is already known by Jesus, already known by His Heavenly Father, who fashioned him in the secret of my womb before I even knew he existed.

And God my Father has done it again – has allowed me to become the carrier of another miraculously-created life who I will bring into the world in less than six months. If only I could pray away the labor pains. Not likely.

But what I am praying for is that this unborn child will personally know and trust Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. The same prayer prayed daily for my firstborn. That Jesus will be first place in his life, that Jesus will remain the one constant thing amidst the craziness and chaos of life.

Of course, telling my son that will work wonders because he listens oh so well I believe it’s called selective hearing and thankfully he has heard my conversations about Jesus because he already knows Jesus loves him and died for him and that Jesus is alive. He at least can recite this at 3 years old and I’m praying these truths will become written on his own heart soon.

No, I think the better way for my son to learn that Jesus is first among all things is to see that portrayed in my life. In my crazy and chaotic life. For him to see that no matter what financial difficulty we face, no matter how many repairs Dada’s truck needs, no matter how many times I’ve repeated the statement that pee-pee goes in the potty not on the floor, that Jesus is still King of all. Because no matter how I treat my Lord, He is still Lord. No matter how unfaithful I am to Him, He is still faithful to me. It is undeserved love but as my husband would say, “It is what it is,” and it is grace.

Oh Lord, if only our hearts would cling to You with unfaltering faith, if only we could take You at your word and know beyond our doubts that You desire to bless us beyond belief, then we could truly rest in Your peace here on earth and exchange our chaos for your calm. For your death and resurrection have given us the right to become children of God, and as an earthly father desires to give his children good things, You, Lord, desire to give us even more.

Did God know? June 25, 2008

Sometimes, a crazy thought will pop into my mind while I’m going about my daily routine. Usually, this happens during an extremely trying day with my 2-year-old. Did God know that there would be days that I would just throw my hands up in the air and scream, “Enough!” Did God know there would be days when I didn’t feel like being a mom? Did God know that often, very often, I would just want to give up? Did He really, really know?

As a born-again believer who submits to God’s sovereign control and plan, this question is quite paradoxical for me and not one that I am truly asking because I do know the truth. However, I believe that because my God is a personal God and I can have a relationship with Him, thanks to the sacrifice of His Son Jesus Christ, He allows me to ask Him these silly questions just to hear His truth. Just to feel His comfort, sense His peace and rest in His love.

Because the answer is, ‘Yes,’ He did know there would days I would not like my son very much due to his disobedience. There would be days when I would have to say, ‘No’ a million times and then some. There would be days when my son would show me without a doubt that we are born sinful. In writing this, I am reminded that there are days that I am not very likable or even lovable yet God gave His best for me, His Son gave His own best for me – Jesus laid down his life for me while I was (and continue to be) a sinner.

But God also knew something else, something much greater. He knew the joy I would feel when my son lets me give him a little kiss by placing his check on my lips. He knew the laughter we would have together just being silly and playing made-up games. He knew the fun I would have going to the park, to the pool and to the playground watching my son explore HIS world and then call out, ‘Mama,’ ten times to show me the same bug.

God knew, and knows, that the good memories I am making with my son will far outweigh the trying times. But God even knew those trying times would be necessary to purge within myself the sinful desires that dwell deep below that I didn’t even know existed. He knew that the difficulties I face as a mother would transform me into a person that, in a small way each day, could mirror the image of His Son. Ultimately, God knew that His plan for my life was not to fix my problems, make every day easy or give me a smooth ride; but His plan was to bring glory to Himself through my life, the life that I have committed to Him.

Therefore, knowing that God’s ultimate plan is perfect and that I can do all things through Him, I can agree with Paul and say the words he wrote so long ago that ring true today:

I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

Homemakers and housewives have a noble job, says Betty Crocker June 19, 2008

Summertime always brings back fond childhood memories of trips to the neighborhood pool and library. Spending my vacation time swimming and reading were joyful hobbies that I wish I could find significant time for now as the mother of a toddler. But I did have a quick visit to our local library this week and managed to find three great cookbooks before my son decided to blow up and break the “no noise” rule. Obviously he wasn’t interested in waiting with me to decide between a baking encyclopedia or a Betty Crocker memoir. The First Lady of Food won.

I really chose the Betty Crocker book, entitled Finding Betty Crocker by Susan Marks, to see if I could learn some quick tricks and meal-planning tips. What has most interested me is the history of the Betty Crocker empire, created by the Washburn Crosby Company, now known as General Mills, and the knowledge that the woman really didn’t exist. I won’t go into further details because that’s not the purpose of this post and you can read the book.

However, reading about the chronicles of how housewives and homemakers survived wartime rationing and still made nutritious and delicious meals thanks to Betty Crocker’s tips have intrigued me. While we are definitely not in any sort of Depression era, money is tight and some guilty pleasures have to go. It’s been a difficult job keeping a food budget and still making good meals. This was the case 60-70 years ago and it is the case now, at least in my situation.

Betty Crocker knew that, and she knew the importance of a housewife and mother spending time necessary to ensure her family was well fed, well dressed and well taken care of. It was a noble job, despite the need for women to enter the workforce to replace men gone off to war. The home was still the woman’s primary place of employment (are some of you cringing now? At least hear me out.) and Betty Crocker encouraged this mindset even when the men returned from war. How did she do this? Take a look at a creed below that she (well, General Mills actually) sent out to 70,000 women in 1944 who were members of the Betty Crocker American Home Legion Program. I believe these words written decades ago will ring true for several of us today:

I believe homemaking is a noble and challenging career.

I believe homemaking is an art requiring many different skills.

I believe homemaking requires the best of my efforts, my abilities and my thinking.

I believe home reflects the spirit of the homemaker.

I believe home should be a place of peace, joy and contentment.

I believe no task is too humble that contributes to the cleanliness, the order, the health, the well being of the household.

I believe a homemaker must be true to the highest ideals of love, loyalty, service and religion.

I believe home must be an influence for good in the neighborhood, the community, the country.

For those of us who are Christian women desiring to first honor our Lord Jesus Christ with our life and then serve our husbands and children, let this creed be an encouragement that our place in the home washing loads of laundry, cleaning piles of dishes and making sacks of lunches will one day be rewarded with words from our Heavenly Father that are far greater than any ‘Thank you’ could ever be:

Well done, good and faithful servant.

A Journey through the Second Year of Motherhood January 18, 2008

As I reflect back on the second year of motherhood with my firstborn son, I thought it only appropriate to capture those days in the form of a poem:

My second year of motherhood has been such a joy

I love teaching Edson and raising a little boy

From trains to cars, Legos and blocks

We’ve played with them all, even dirt, sand and rocks

He really loves books with bright colors and shapes

He listens to my words and then tries to imitate

I wave my arms like the wind and the rain

That shook Noah’s ark in those ancient days

Edson always remembers my crazy weather display

And waves his little arms when the word ‘rain’ I say

After a while when reading is done

He’s on to the next thing and searching for fun

The words that he tells me I try to decipher

From ice cream to lunch, backyard to fire

One of his favorite games above all else

Is throwing balls in the air and trying to catch them himself

When boredom sets in and he’s had enough of the house

We head to the park, library or mall, or just out and about

A car ride would not be fun without his friend Dora

And the songs she sings about her life as an explorer

When we sit down for lunch it’s always PB & J

Pepino and milk and Goldfish on the way

I make up clever songs or read stories from the Bible

To keep him entertained at least for a while

It seems to me the best part of his day

Is when Dada comes home cause it’s really time to play

One thing I enjoy most is laying on my bed

Relaxing with my son and kissing his head

His sweet little cheeks and his cute button nose

Are all a year older and so are his toes

I think back fondly to those early days

When my son was an infant and my mind was a haze

He could hardly move but could certainly cry

He would sleep during the day and stay awake at night

I remember wanting those exhausting days to pass

Wondering if I’d ever sleep again, desperately wanting to crash

Edson is now 2 years old and he sleeps through the night

And now how I often miss those feedings by moonlight

I know, however, that this is God’s plan

For me to nurse a newborn and eventually raise a man

I vow this year as Edson gets older

To enjoy every moment we have together

For God my Lord has blessed my life

With a sweet precious son, my firstborn child

These two years have been fun and at times very tough

But God’s love is sufficient, His grace is enough

I rely on Him each and every day

To help me guide my son in the Lord’s faithful way

For I know the true joy of my life as a mother

Is seeing Edson declare his devotion for Another

Someone else who is more worthy than I could ever be

Our Savior Jesus Christ who died for Edson and me

So my prayer is to love my son through all things

And lead him to Christ, the true King of kings!

Is divorce bad for the environment, Earth? December 5, 2007

I ran across this story on Yahoo today and was just dumbfounded. As a Christian, I don’t believe divorce is the answer to marital difficulties (infidelity aside.) But many people, including Christians, believe it is. Rather than stick things out and abide by the vow they made, they give up and create even more problems, mostly for children, if they are involved.

But divorce actually hurting the environment? Can it actually cause pain to our Earth? Well, this story appears to make that claim, citing that increased households, especially divorced households, use more resources and sometimes not so wisely.

I think this is quite ridiculous but I can see the reasoning behind it.  This whole ‘go green’ campaign has taken our country, even globe, by storm.  Everywhere you turn there is some tip or way you can reuse, reduce and recycle.  I’m all for being responsible and clean (litter is quite unattractive) but seriously – the Earth has somehow sustained itself for many years – can it not do so for time to come?  But that’s another post.

So, should we remain married to help save the Earth?  Hardly!  We should remain married because it’s the ADULT thing to do – the RIGHT thing to do.  Marriage requires maturity – that maturity is needed to persevere through emotional, financial and physical difficulties.  If you can’t handle it, don’t get married.  Marriage isn’t a game – it’s real life that can be real fun but takes real work.

Rather than focusing on how to save the Earth, why not focus on how to save marriages?  What do husbands and wives need today to remain faithful to each other and their children, to remain faithful to the vow they made in front of friends and family?  The answer is a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, who should be at the center of all marriages.  Without Him, divorce will remain rampant and marriages will continue to be destroyed.  And I can assure you that our Earth will live to see it all happen a hundred times over.

The ice cream man still exists? November 20, 2007

My husband and I and our almost 2-year-old son recently moved into our first home in a quiet neighborhood in the suburbs of Houston (which explains my lack of blog posts but everyone is allowed a grace period, right?). Well, within the first couple of weeks we were here, all three of us were in the backyard when we heard childish music chiming its way down the street.

“The ice cream man!” I announced to our son.

His eyes got big and his mouth made a circle as he said “Ooo” and then said the word ‘ice cream’ in his language – num-num.

I didn’t really think much of it at the time but today the num-num man came by around 5 pm and I rushed out the front door with my son so he could see the truck (well, it was a van). He was again really excited and wanted to dart into the street barefoot to catch the num-num man. I didn’t buy him any ice cream since it was close to dinner (I know, I’m mean) but he was more enthralled with seeing the man than getting any ice cream (yes, I know this, because I can read his facial expressions.)

But afterwards, I was surprised that the concept of the ice cream man still exists. I haven’t bought anything from an ice cream man in years and since I’ve been living in apartments for the past three years I haven’t run across the fellow recently. My surprise for his existence is primarily due to our society today – how so many children are approached by strangers and suspicious adults in unknown vehicles. Can we really trust an ice cream man in a van playing some jingly little music? We used to. What’s happened?

In any event, I’m sure one day soon I’ll buy my son, and myself, some ice cream (I really liked those strawberry bars covered with cake bits). But until then, we’ll just listen for the catchy tune strolling down the street so I can reminisce about summer days playing tag in the street waiting for the num-num man to give us a tasty treat.

Don’t lie to yourself: “Open Marriage” is ADULTERY September 25, 2007

I don’t watch Oprah – every now and then I catch a few minutes of her show while flipping channels but today I stopped to see what her program was about. And I was disgusted and disturbed by the content. The couple, Hollie and Gregg, admitted to having an “open marriage,” meaning that Hollie has a boyfriend she is intimate with. And Gregg said he is OK with that. They both claim they are lacking nothing and don’t NEED to go outside their marriage for relationships but this makes them have more “love.”

Of course, there is no way they can even be Christian and live this lifestyle, so I have to rule that out. But seriously, this is not marriage. Whatever you want to call it, it is not marriage in any sense of the word. “Open marriage” is adultery – pure and simple. Even if the “other relationship” is accepted by one spouse, it is still adultery. It’s completely disgraceful and destructive. There is NO love in an open marriage. There is only deceit and denial. It’s a purely selfish way to live. God created marriage to be holy and of course we humans ruined that and continue to do so. The saddest part is that this couple has children. What kind of lesson is this teaching children? I can’t imagine.

I’ll end this post (which I hesitated writing due to the content) with a verse that I believe is appropriate:

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Hebrews 13:4

Crying over spilled milk September 11, 2007

Toward the end of a very busy, stressful day (what other description is there for days with a toddler?), I began to get my son’s dinner ready as I set our dinner to cook on the stove. My 20-month-old son was standing right behind me as I’m pouring milk into his sippy cup, excitedly waiting for his first cold sip.

I’m not quite sure what happened next except that in my haste I knock over his cup and spilled milk on the counter, on the floor behind the fridge, down the cabinets, onto myself and a little on my son. I couldn’t have waited to be clumsy until I had securely screwed the lid on. Not a chance.

All of a sudden, my son bursts out into tears and yelps! He is so upset and all I can do is say, “It’s ok, it’s ok. I’ll get you more milk.” He cried so hard that tears streamed down his pink cheeks and he began almost heaving. Surprised by his reaction, I grabbed towels, keeled down and began cleaning up. I then held him next to me as I wiped up the spilled milk.

Even after my hectic day and frustration over wasting a now-expensive beverage (why has all the dairy gone up?), I didn’t cry. I was actually calm – surprisingly calm. In these situations, I usually get visibly angry at myself for such a silly mistake. But I didn’t. I wasn’t sure why until God reminded me of the reason:

Serve the Lord with gladness. Psalm 100:2

This week, I’ve been meditating on Psalm 100 in my quiet time (which I have resuscitated after a week or so without it!) and am surprised at how the Holy Spirit works through us by bringing Scripture to mind. Even as I was cleaning up that messy milk (and oh what a bad after-smell dried milk has!), I remained calm and somewhat cheerful. It was, in my opinion, supernatural and only a God-thing. I was serving my Lord and willingly chose to do it gladly, even as my son wailed behind me.

Even though this picture doesn’t always turn out so peachy, especially when I choose to go the other way and relish in selfishness by being angry and bitter at bad situations, I was glad that for God’s sake and my son’s sake I chose the right response this time. Allowing God to remain in control and seeking Him through tough times definitely brings about His peace.

My son ended up getting more milk and he drank it gladly. And I’m so thankful that God works in every situation of our lives, even in moments that seem so insignificant but can teach some of the greatest lessons.

The Joy of Rotini August 17, 2007

After receiving several comments (thank you!) to a previous post seeking tips for toddler activities, I decided to use the encouragement and advice received to locate interesting items around my home that could become fun games.

Alas – rotini. Unused, dried and never-going-to-be cooked rotini became a one-hour game of amusement for my son. He poured the pasta into cups and bowls, then back into a bigger bowl and smaller cup. He dumped it onto himself and then onto me. I couldn’t believe that for an hour he was willing to sit next to me with rotini.

Of course, the novelty wore off, but it was lunchtime anyways so we needed a break from the pasta pouring. How wonderful that he has an inexpensive new toy that he didn’t even try to eat (tip: constant supervision, though, is needed in the event toddlers become curious and sneakily stick the macaroni in their mouths.)

The only downside to this discovery? Stepping on pieces of pasta that seemed to have wandered off and missed my careful inspection of the living room floor during clean-up. A bit of an “ouch” shock. But no one ever said motherhood was painless.